Awkward and Awesome

Awkward:
- When you spot an old friend walking by who you haven't seen for a while, and you take a few seconds to double check to make sure it's them before waving and calling out their name (because you've gone down that road before), only to have them turn and stare at you blankly because nope, you were still wrong. Darn it.

- When your husband sends you a more-than-flirty text message that would be highly innappropriate for your children to read, or anyone else for that matter, while two of your children are actually playing games on your phone. This is discovered when your husband calls your phone to see why you're not responding, and your children answer it. They may claim no knowledge of said text message but you all know that text messages pop up on the screen in front of whatever app you're using, and there's no way that it wasn't seen, and it's all very AWKWARD, AWKWARD, AWKWARD.

- The fact that the above scenario could have been avoided if your husband had just walked 10 feet into the next room to flirt with you in person instead of texting you from the living room, because you were both home. Husband fail.

Awesome:
- Reconnecting with an uncle you've only seen once in the past 23 years and discovering that he hasn't changed a single bit from the fun-loving and hilarious favorite uncle of your youth. We all miss you already, Uncle Andrew!

(Our last night with him before he headed home to NZ... checking out the back of our property with my and Russ's parents, and relaxing around the firepit.)

- Booking tickets for yourself and your daughter to travel back to New Zealand to visit family after a 14 year absence. 14 YEARS! It's been too long and I can't wait to reconnect with family and experience it all with Kendall. And eat nothing but fish and chips and meat pies and custard squares and ALL THE THINGS.

- Annndddd... (this is awesome enough for it's own bullet point) finally getting to go to the South Island while you're there! Woohoo! (We never travelled down there once during my childhood.)

- Husbands who make it a priority to get you back to visit your grandparents, and are willing to take time off work to stay with the boys when you'll be gone during spring break, and in general make up for their TERRIBLE texting decision-making by making your biggest dreams come true ;)

Awkward & Awesome - the wedding guest edition

{Johnny & Diana get married!}

Awkward:
- when you let your 13-year-old take a tiny sip of the champagne they poured everyone for the wedding toasts because you think he'll hate it as much as you do, and instead he thinks its yummy and keeps bugging you to have another sip until you ban him from so much as talking about champagne, let alone drinking any, for the rest of his life.

- hitting the dance floor when you've got no moves. NONE.

- when you decide you need to work on this before your next wedding coming up in two weeks, so you come home and actually practice a little in the bathroom mirror before changing out of your wedding outfit, and your son walks in on you and starts grinning and you straight up sink into the floor and die.

Awesome: 
- when your 13-year-old son is your wedding date because your husband is out of town, and he takes your arm while walking, and gets you dessert, and offers to go get you more food, and dances with you on the dance floor, and poses with you for pictures, and basically does a stand up job... possibly even a better job than your husband would have done.

- food trucks at wedding receptions. BRILLIANT.

- when your mother comes straight to the wedding from winning first place in the women's open division (and 7th overall) of the Portland to Coast with her relay team, having only slept an hour out of the past 33. She's beyond amazing.

- being a part of a couple's big day and getting to celebrate their new life together with them. I'm always honored to be included in such a monumental occassion. Especially this girl's. 

Congrats, Mr. & Mrs. Monnette!

Awkward & Awesome - The Monday Edition

Awkward:
- Well first of all, awkward is definitely how I feel about missing almost two weeks of blogging for no reason at all except I'm enjoying me some summer vacation.

You may be interested to know I've watched 8 seasons of Friends on Netflix, let my kids have all the backyard sleepouts and cousin/friend sleepovers they could ever wish for, said yes to pretty much everything that doesn't cost money (including after-dark swim sessions with the neighbor kids and 10 pm pancake feeds), watched a lot of Disney movies with my almost-two-year-old nephew, and caught up on all the naps I missed during baseball season. It's been fantastic.

- Sitting in a nice restaurant and glancing over at the table next to you to witness a rather buxom chested woman try to remove the sauce she just spilled on the front of her right breast by cupping it in a firm grip and aiming it upwards towards her so she can attack it with a Tide pen. Awkwardness level: train wreck... can't look away.

- After having a fit of the giggles over the above scene, noticing you've spilling sauce on your OWN shirt, and proceeding to make your sister ask to borrow Ms. Buxom's tide pen for a moment. (Sisters are the best.) And not only did the lady say I could use her pen, she had two and let me keep one!

FYI: I waited till I was back in our car to apply it.

Awesome:
- Deck progress, baby! With the help of our nephew, Sam, Russ finished building all our step supports this past week, and then on Friday decked two sides all by himself!

He's so handy! We had fun stuff to do on Saturday and Sunday so the third side will be decked this coming week, and then the whole thing will get powerwashed and stained. So fun to make progress. And to have stairs to walk down!

- Seeing the musical West Side Story for the very first time and LOVING it!

- Also, going with a group of ladies who aren't afraid to order dessert with their meals at dinner out beforehand, OR stop for pie and two hours of visiting afterwards! 

- When your kids don't play with plastic toys at the beach anymore, but instead spend hours creating "crime scenes" with their cousins and then take 52 pictures of their work.

- MIGHTY proud of their work they were too. (insert crying while laughing emoji here :)

Awkward & Awesome

Awkward: 

- when your mom takes a picture of you running a relay race in girls clothes during school field day and plans on saving it for that perfect moment down the road (graduation, getting married... so many options!) SORRY NOT SORRY, COOPER.

- when your very firm and often declared anti-birkenstock stance that lasted all through the 90's and remained strong during their recent comeback suddenly crumbles and you find yourself surfing the internet till 1:00am searching for the color and style you want in your size. (Victory was found at Zappos.com. Hallelujah.)

Awesome:

- being part of this darling girl's life through college and now the start of a new career. We love you, sweetlewie xoxo

- husband's new state champion ring. It's faaaaannnncy! 

- discovering the Hallmark channel TV series When Calls the Heart on Netflix with your daughter and having nightly living room dates to watch it together after the boys are in bed. It's cheesy and predictable and WONDERFUL... we are so, so hooked.

AWESOMER:
- when Russ comes home while we are watching said show and within 2 minutes is making horrible fun of it, rolling his eyes dramatically before tuning out to watch hunting clips on his phone, but 10 minutes later we notice his phone is forgotten in his lap and he's been sucked in completely, and at the 35 minute mark suddenly HE'S CRYING and Kendall and I have to pause the episode because we are laughing so hard at him.

HE HASN'T LET US WATCH AN EPISODE WITHOUT HIM SINCE.

I love that guy.

Awkward & Awesome

Awkward
- getting a call from your children's school that your son has been suspended for 3 days for getting in a full-on brawl with two other students during recess. No, not the 13-year-old middle schooler... oh no... the SECOND GRADER.

Our house has turned into a house of shame. 

(Okay, more like a house of dire consequences. Those 3 days could not be more un-fun for said 2nd grader.)

{Breaking free from jail yesterday afternoon to grocery shop - we both needed it!}

- when you're hiking a 3 mile loop with a girlfriend and realize two thirds of the way around that your key fob fell out of your hoodie pocket somewhere along the way, and you have to turn around and retrace your steps, almost doubling your miles... and your sweat output.

Awesome
- great workouts with girlfriends! Haha.

- this discovery, if you are a cadbury cream egg lover like myself:

Yes. They are absolutely delicious and amazing. Thank you, Easter aisle at Target.

- A freshly mowed lawn, and trampoline forts to play under.

- A plan-free weekend... starting today! Weeeee!

Awkward & Awesome

Awkward: 

- When you're videoing your almost-8-year-old son open his birthday card from his great grandparents in New Zealand so you can send them the clip, and he surreptitiously picks his nose and EATS it on film. Niiiice. 

- When you return from your family trip to Baker City for the basketball state finals with your son's arm still in a splint after he was told he fractured his elbow, only to find out it wasn't really fractured, and he wore the splint for a week for nothing and missed all the fun hotel swimming with his cousins and friends needlessly, and he is NOT pleased. (But yay for no casts!)

- When your birthday boy (back to Blake again) takes it upon himself to make homemade birthday invitations for all his friends at school and takes them and hands them out WITHOUT YOUR KNOWLEDGE OR AUTHORIZATION, when you actually haven't even planned a party yet, and then you have to tell those kids' parents that call you asking about the mystery party invite that's missing pretty much every piece of pertinent info they would need, that oh, I'm so sorry, please tell your child NEVERMIND. Ugggh.

Awesome:

- Spring blossoms down your driveway!

- Having a husband full of energy again after his basketball season is over! Yeah for long overdue yard work and home projects!

-   Cadbury cream eggs EVERYWHERE! Mmmmmm, cream eggs... ;)

Awkward & Awesome

Awkward
- when you remember to send your 2nd grader off to school with the drinks for his class Valentine's party but forget to send him with his valentine's cards/treats to hand out. (Which is kind of the whole point of the party to begin with.)

- when you not only forget to send the valentines, you forget to even DO his valentines with him. Even though you bought the stuff for it a solid three weeks ago.

- when you're chatting with a girlfriend at school pick up and your 12-year-old son notices he has a slightly loose molar tooth, points out this fact to you, and then to your horror reaches in and wrenches it out and the scene pretty much looks like this...

- unrelatedly, in case you were wondering if it's possible... the answer is yes, apparently you can get strep throat three times in a row.

and it's the pits.

Awesome

- when your husband has the day after Valentine's Day off work so you can actually go out and celebrate on a Sunday night! Date night ahead... woo to the hoo!

- when you finally decide to investigate goodreads late one night, create an account, and then spend two hours finding all your favorite books and rating them 5 stars so it will give you good book recommendations, something you've been wanting for at least five years. Always on the ball, this girl.

- blue skies, coffee, and taco trucks. In that order.

Awkward & Awesome Returns

I haven't done one of these in a while! Please, let my awkward life entertain you!

Awkward:
- When you're sitting in the back of a room full of kids who are being entertained by The Reptile Man, and he is introducing one of his rattlesnakes, and happens to mention that his snake was in a movie about a lady walking the Pacific Crest Trail, and you instantly know he's talking about "Wild", and abruptly interrupt his story by shouting, "ooh, ooh, did you get to meet Reese Witherspoon?!"

LIKE A DORK MOM.

(For the record, yes he did. And told a story about it. So yes, it was worth it.)

- When this picture is captured from the event by the coordinator, and of course it's YOUR son kissing the giant python.

OH BLAKE. 

- When you have plans with friends for Veterans Day, forget about those plans and try to make plans with a different friend, and then have to attempt to gracefully back pedal after remembering your first plans.

It was as awkward as it sounds. 

Awesome:
- My original (and super fun) plans for Veterans Day... a writer's retreat day with some of my blogging friends! It was AMAZING. We showed up in sweats, with yummy food to share, and our laptops to spend a day writing and working on projects without a single interrupting child. (or husband. ;) Next up, a writers' retreat weekend in January! (aka the girlfriends' play weekend ;)

- Conversations with optimists:
Blake: Mom! Mom! It's almost my birthday!
Me: you mean your birthday next March? That's 5 months away, bud.
Blake: well... that's getting pretty close! *grins excitedly*

- Freezer meal parties. I didn't know this was a thing, you guys, but I got invited to one with the option to either go help prep and come home with 7 delicious crockpot meals for my freezer, or pay a little extra and just pick my meals up. There are so many options and all the shopping is done for you and I was pretty much like, "SOLD", within 5 minutes of learning all about it. 

I AM  A LITTLE EXCITED. 

- Dates with handsome fellas.

- Dates, period :)

Awkward & Awesome Thursday

Awkward:
- when your two boys, left home alone for a couple hours, tell you that they occupied their time by watching Rocky IV on Netflix, turning up the volume as loud as they could during Eye of the Tiger while jumping around the room, and then in a fit of pumped up macho-ness, both drank a raw egg from a glass.
Me: WHAT?! oh my gosh, gross!" 
Cooper: "and then Blake said, "hit me with another one!"

BOYS.

- when you take your new junior higher down to his school the day before it begins to practice opening his locker... and after multiple failed attempts on his part, realize you can't figure it out either. So you have to call for backup: the new 9th grade big sister - who of course opens it on her first attempt and then shakes her head at you. Listen. It's been 18 years, ok? MOM'S A LITTLE RUSTY.

- when your new 2nd grader only makes it to the second day of school before being discovered by teacher as: "definitely the chattiest one of them all". (I wish I could say this came as a surprise to me.)

- when your dog wakes you up at 1:47 am by growling and barking out the french doors in your bedroom, and your husband's out of town, so you spend the next 15 minutes on high alert with your heart pounding out of your chest before finally taking a Tylenol PM even though you have to be up in 4 hours. YAWWNN. (But hey, everyone's still alive in the morning so... win.)

- when you come home to find this on your dining room table...

CREEPY. 

(But still kinda impressive, right? I thought it was Iron Man but Coop informed me it's a mannequin head for making fabric masks on. Ohhhhh.)

Awesome:
- when your husband comes home after being away for 5 days and your whole body instantly relaxes and you know you're finally going to sleep well that night.

- school night bedtimes for the kids and the quiet house that follows... ahhhhh.

- Fall produce fresh from your front yard.

- getting paid to help someone pack for a trip when you just offered to do it for fun! Why planning trip outfits and packing suitcases is enjoyable to me, I could not answer you, but it is, and yesterday I felt like a superwoman when I helped a sweet lady headed to France for three weeks pick out mixable outfits and accessories and fit them all easily into a carry-on suitcase, with room to spare. That's right, I'm pretty much a packing ninja!

- new sports adventures! Coop decided to try cross country this year and low-and-behold, he's pretty darn good at it!

ALSO OF IMPORT: cross country races last 20 MINUTES. That's it. I think I have a new favorite sporting event to watch ;)

Awkward and Awesome

Awkward
- Joining periscope (new live video social media app by twitter) on a whim and trying it out for the first time, and utterly failing (couldn't even figure out how to stop the live video for like, 30 seconds.) Awkward awkward awkward. I may never get back on again, but I have to admit, periscope is a little bit addicting (and ALOT bit overwhelming.)

- Also. Joining twitter again in order to get periscope, even though you are still utterly confused by it 90% of the time. Make that 95% of the time.

- Forgetting to use the bathroom before heading to the track with your family to workout together (someone's starting junior high cross country soon!) and then squeezing your way through 6 laps of power walking because you don't want to make everyone go home again right away. Darn bladder.

Awesome
- Rocky movie marathons on Netflix. Not for me. For Russ and the boys. This is awesome because Kendall and I are now free to read together uninterrupted all evening for several nights in a row. Win-win!

- Best friends who make sure you aren't missing your fave summer show (So You Think You Can Dance) and who also don't make fun of your dorklife confessions.

- Finding out your biking-across-the-States mother is only THREE DAYS away from finishing her almost 3 month trek - a whopping 18 days earlier than originally planned, because she's too legit to quit! (Literally, she just won't quit riding!) Following her and Sarah's journey's on facebook has been my favorite activity all summer long. I'm so proud of them both, and so excited to drive down to the coast Sunday to meet Mum as she finishes by dipping her wheel in the pacific ocean!

{Starting at the Atlantic Ocean in Yorktown, Virginia, this is every state she's crossed since she began in May,

except Kansas - apparently they had no state welcome sign!}

Awkward & Awesome

Awkward
-when your son explains that the tooth he just pulled out is now lost "somewhere under the couch" after he put it back in his mouth so he could fake punch himself in the face and then spit it out "like in the movies" over and over again.

-when your son (yes, the same one) discovers parkour, becomes enamoured, and all of a sudden your couch is empty of all it's cushions and you find them on the front porch where they are now a "landing zone", and your kitchen stepping stool is missing because it's out in the backyard being "jump and rolled" off of. I will not be surprised if this results in a broken limb.

{being the awesome mom that I am, I let Coop talk me into taking him to the park on a 92 degree afternoon so he could parkour to his little heart's content. Or more accurately, for 25 minutes.}

- when this hilarious meme is 100% spot on and the cause of constant frustration within your own kitchen:

Awesome
- when you get to pick the game for family night (PICTIONARY! WOOT WOOT!) and totally dominate, no matter what kid you're teamed with.

-fancy hair-do's by amazing 13 year olds.

- living on a river when the temp is in the 90's for the third week in a row.

- and little swimmers who graduate out of their lifejacket (under strict supervision) after showing they can swim all the way across with their face in the water! Go Blake!

Awkward and Awesome

Awkward:
- forgetting it's class picture day at school and realizing both your sons left the house in what you could only term as "end-of-the-school-year rags" with unbrushed hair because everyone accidentally slept in that morning. Winning.

- also forgetting to send them with their picture order forms and money. Brain! Where art thou?!

- filling out your younger son's birthdate on a permission slip and then realizing you put the wrong day. And not one of his siblings birth dates, which would have been understandable because hey, we all get mixed up every now and then, but no, just a random day that no one in your family was born on. God bless white out.

- when your daughter's new (and favorite) sweater coat keeps going "missing" from her room, to be found worn with ninja gear by an offending brother, who swears it's an Assassin's Creed cloak.

Awesome:
- facetiming with your "biking across the US" mother while at your son's baseball game so she can watch him up to bat from Virginia. TECHNOLOGY.

- 12 year old boys with goals:

- High school Fiddler On The Roof productions that are outstanding. 

- husbands who make you delicious omelets for breakfast on their day off.

- And of course, three day weekends! Happy Memorial Day weekend!