Some things I want to say

1. We were a little excited for the new season of American Idol to air last night. We don't necessarily make it all the way to the end of every season, but we always start out strong... especially through the highly entertaining auditions.

2. It took me all of 10 minutes watching to confirm my suspicions that I would not care for that Nicki Minaj. No sir.

3. In more important news, can we talk about my all-of-a-sudden barely there eyebrows, as witnessed in the above picture? (while not talking about my weird ONE droopy eye, not sure what was going on there.)

Once upon a time, my eyebrows used to look like this:

WHERE DID ALL THE EYEBROWS GO?

I don't pluck or wax them at all these days, just fill them in, thanks to this little guy:

Maybelline's Define-A-Brow

I don't really know what I'm doing though. Or why my eyebrows decided to start disappearing at such an alarming rate.

4. And in other face-related news, I have just recently discovered that I have quite the asymmetrical hair line.

Was my hairline always like this and I didn't notice? Or is hair abandoning ship all over my head?!! I'm a little concerned.

5. Yesterday I went to my cousin Linley's final prenatal appointment with her and posted a picture of her 39-week belly on Facebook, tagging her in the pic. A sweet acquaintance thought it was me though and I imagine about fell over thinking she was just now finding out I was about to pop one out of the oven. I found this quite hilarious for the sole reason that if I WERE pregnant there is no way anyone would NOT know, because I would be complaining every single darned day of the entire 9 month wait. Loudly.

Which pretty much explains why I'm not pregnant.

6. I did think I might be a couple of weeks ago though. After fighting nausea on and off for over two weeks and taking an at-home test that came out negative, I took myself off to the doctor's office to see what was going on. Turns out it was not a baby growing in my tummy, but acid reflux.

7. So yes, disappearing eyebrows, receding hairline, acid reflux... I think my body has decided to skip a couple of decades and head straight into its golden years.

8. Maybe this explains why twice yesterday I had to speed up my pace to keep up with Linley, the 9 MONTH PREGNANT LADY?

This just in: I am the slowest walker in the world. But I guess I always have been. What can I say, I like to enjoy the scenery. So picture ME 9 months pregnant walking with my speedy-McSpeedster of a sister, Kelly. I can't tell you how many times she would get 3 or 4 car-lengths ahead of me before turning around and noticing I was no longer beside her. It always made us laugh.

9. Now back to the acid reflux for a moment: there has been a plus side. As my triggers seem to be coffee, chocolate, and peppermint, things I majorly over-indulged in over the holidays (hello triple-threat of peppermint white mochas!), I've been avoiding them ever since (a Herculean effort, believe me), and in two weeks I've lost 9 pounds.

10. 9 pounds!! It's been a great kick-off to the new year. Oh the happy consequences of a much-restricted diet.

(This is me choosing to look at the bright side. Best not to discuss chocolate with me yet...)