If I were to sum up my day yesterday into one sentence, I would have to say that it was basically sheer and utter madness.
MADNESS, I SAY!
From beginning to end things did not go as planned, and if I were to try to explain it all in writing you would be dazed and confused within two paragraphs, and 100% lost by the end of what would be sure to be the longest and most complicated tale you'd ever been bored by in your life. So I won't.
But I will share some important tips that I learned from my experience:
- If your husband's car is in the mechanic shop and he has to take your vehicle to work for the day, a day that begins at the ungodly hour of 4:20 am, you may want to tell him the night before that the gas tank is pretty much sitting on empty and needs to be filled at the closest possible station when he leaves. Otherwise, you just might be rudely awakened at 4:40 am and called upon to come to the rescue ASAP, in what could only be termed as the most hostile wake-up call you've ever received in your entire life.
- If you decide to turn off your morning alarm that was set for 6:30 am because you didn't go to bed until 1:00 am the night before and then lost almost an hour of sleep during the wee hours due to a "vehicle emergency", and instead trust your body to wake when your contractor shows up at 7:00 am on his way to work to do a quick 10 minute fix-it job in your bathroom (see, I told you it was complicated), do GET UP when you hear him arrive.
DO NOT, under any circumstances, ask your 8-year-old son (who also wakes up and comes into your bedroom to ask if he can watch cartoons) to come get you when the contractor leaves and then fall immediately back to sleep. Because this will be a FATAL MISTAKE. You could wake up an hour later, at the time you were supposed to be leaving the house for a busy morning, to find your son engrossed in the TV and oblivious to the fact that the contractor left 45 minutes earlier.
DO NOT, under any circumstances, ask your 8-year-old son (who also wakes up and comes into your bedroom to ask if he can watch cartoons) to come get you when the contractor leaves and then fall immediately back to sleep. Because this will be a FATAL MISTAKE. You could wake up an hour later, at the time you were supposed to be leaving the house for a busy morning, to find your son engrossed in the TV and oblivious to the fact that the contractor left 45 minutes earlier.
- If you have borrowed your brother-in-law's car for the day because your husband needed yours, do not put the single car key you were given into the car's cup holder for safekeeping and then send your daughter out to the car ahead of you with your water bottle in the morning. Because she will be sure to put your water bottle into the same cup holder, and may unwittingly fling the key to the nether regions of the vehicle, causing you to search for it frantically for 5 minutes that you just DO NOT HAVE TO SPARE. And you will want to pull all your hair out.
- If you have to run into town later in the day to go to the bank, do not leave at 1:10 pm when your bank is closed from 1-2 pm for lunch. This will frustrate you.
- And if you go to a friend's garage sale while waiting for your bank to open and pick out a few items to purchase, promising to return with cash as soon as you're finished at the bank, do not forget all about it by the time you actually do leave the bank, and drive straight home instead.
- Also, do not try to cash an insurance check written out to both yourself and your husband with only your own signature on the back, because you will be denied. Apparently it's a law.
- ALSO, do not spontaneously decide that you need caffeine and pick up a 12 oz latte after quitting drinking coffee at least 3 weeks ago. Or at least, don't drink it on an empty stomach. While it may not seem to bother you at first, and in fact may feel quite helpful, you will later come to BITTERLY REGRET IT.
- ALSO, do not spontaneously decide that you need caffeine and pick up a 12 oz latte after quitting drinking coffee at least 3 weeks ago. Or at least, don't drink it on an empty stomach. While it may not seem to bother you at first, and in fact may feel quite helpful, you will later come to BITTERLY REGRET IT.
- If you have volunteered to make and deliver dinner to some friends who just had a baby, do not forgot to take your bacon out of the freezer when it is one of the ingredients. This way you will realize that there actually is no bacon in the freezer earlier than 3:00 in the afternoon.
- When you run back into town to pay for your garage sale purchases and pick up bacon, leaving your husband home with the kids and promising to be quick because he has to leave shortly to coach summer league basketball games, go to the store first, then the garage sale. That way you won't run into friends at the sale, chat too long, and then get a call from a friend and immediately launch into the tale of your crazy day and drive half-way back home before realizing, THE BACON!
This will also save you from an even further fall from grace with your husband who is not only still bitter about running out of gas that morning, but now late leaving the house because of you.
- When you run back into town to pay for your garage sale purchases and pick up bacon, leaving your husband home with the kids and promising to be quick because he has to leave shortly to coach summer league basketball games, go to the store first, then the garage sale. That way you won't run into friends at the sale, chat too long, and then get a call from a friend and immediately launch into the tale of your crazy day and drive half-way back home before realizing, THE BACON!
This will also save you from an even further fall from grace with your husband who is not only still bitter about running out of gas that morning, but now late leaving the house because of you.
- If you successfully make and deliver dinner to your friends after a crazy day, consider it a triumph even though you were late getting there, and return home immediately to relax and perhaps sleep. Do not instead attempt to go grocery shopping, Father's Day shopping, and bridal shower shopping within a 3 hour period when it is plainly obvious that you have completely lost your brain. All you will do is wander aimlessly, get sucked into Ross for way too long, stare at Father's Day cards for 1/2 an hour in Target, and finally return home 4 hours later with your Father's Day and shower gifts taken care of but only three actual grocery items.
Yes, THREE.
There will be much shame. And nauseousness from your earlier coffee run.
Yes, THREE.
There will be much shame. And nauseousness from your earlier coffee run.
- And lastly, I will leave you with this final nugget of wisdom (well, besides DO NOT BE LIKE ME):
If you feel like you have had a terrible, awful, no-good kind of day and know that it was all your own fault because you can just never seem to get it together, or make it anywhere on time, or flat-out make better decisions, leaving you feeling like the most unreliable failure of a wife and friend there could ever be, stop that train of thought before you manage to spiral downwards into a puddle of self-loathing tears. Trust me, I know of what I speak.
Instead,
Remember that you are incredibly tired and therefore, emotional.
Thank the Lord for his grace and for always being reliable, no matter how unreliable you may be.
Thank the Lord that tomorrow is a new day and that He can help you to change and to do better, and that He is more than willing to do so.
Thank the Lord for giving you a wonderful husband who has never stopped loving you a single second of your life together.
Thank the Lord for giving you amazing friends who stick with you even through your faults.
Listen to the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit and let Him love and comfort you, because He will, HE WILL!
He is so good, and so faithful, and He made you and knows every single one of your weaknesses and still loves you always.
Then GO.TO.BED. It's a pretty sure bet that you will feel MUCH better in the morning :)
If you feel like you have had a terrible, awful, no-good kind of day and know that it was all your own fault because you can just never seem to get it together, or make it anywhere on time, or flat-out make better decisions, leaving you feeling like the most unreliable failure of a wife and friend there could ever be, stop that train of thought before you manage to spiral downwards into a puddle of self-loathing tears. Trust me, I know of what I speak.
Instead,
Remember that you are incredibly tired and therefore, emotional.
Thank the Lord for his grace and for always being reliable, no matter how unreliable you may be.
Thank the Lord that tomorrow is a new day and that He can help you to change and to do better, and that He is more than willing to do so.
Thank the Lord for giving you a wonderful husband who has never stopped loving you a single second of your life together.
Thank the Lord for giving you amazing friends who stick with you even through your faults.
Listen to the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit and let Him love and comfort you, because He will, HE WILL!
He is so good, and so faithful, and He made you and knows every single one of your weaknesses and still loves you always.
Then GO.TO.BED. It's a pretty sure bet that you will feel MUCH better in the morning :)
I was crying I was laughing so hard, but I want you to know that my laughing was not at you but at the fact that I have had days just like that and ended up in a downward spiral of failure. Thank you for encouraging at the end of this and being able to share your day even if its embarrassing.
ReplyDeleteOh Jodi, you are entirely too hard on yourself. I have had many a days like yours yesterday. But just so you know, when I saw you at the above mentioned garage sale, you looked completely, 100% put together,like every time I see you! You wear poise and grace like a crown. :) love you!
ReplyDeleteWow that was quite the day! I will need a full recap when i see you tonight! Thanks for reminding us to be thankful. I needed that:)
ReplyDeleteThis is seriously a fantastic post. What a great way to tell about your chaotic day! Whew!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post; LOVE it!!! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone!
ReplyDeleteI cracked up at the keys flying out to the nether regions of the car.. such a great recap of your day..good to be able to make it such a great story ( sorry actually living through it wasn't that great at the time)
ReplyDeleteI love this post! In fact, I enjoyed it so much, I shared it! It's always wonderful to be reminded that we all have "those" days!
ReplyDeleteOmgosh you poor girl! That just sounded like one of the worst days ever! But you got through it and you were able to post about it.. and somehow turn it around and give thanks to Him :) Hoping the next day, week and year is better then that day! :)
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