Monday confessional

If there's one thing our church knows how to do well, it's throw a conference that will get people out of their homes on a weekend night. Free dinner? Check. Free babysitting? Check. Great speaker? Double check. 

Which is what led me to be standing in our church hallway in front of the book table on Saturday night with a plate of salad in one hand, a cup of lemonade in the other, and a dish of cheesecake balanced on my wrist waitress style, perusing the CD selection on my way back to my seat.

Except I guess the cheesecake wasn't that balanced because it slid off my wrist and bounced from the table to my leg to the floor, leaving a trail of strawberry topping and creamy goodness behind as it splattered everywhere. Fantastic! And it was the last piece of strawberry cheesecake too! 

I actually wasn't even that embarrassed, by now I'm quite used to stuff like that happening to me and I mostly just felt bad for the owner of the tablecloth... but it did remind me of one of my most embarrassing moments waitressing:

I was a junior in high school and working at the local Chinese restaurant. It was Valentine's day and we had a packed house. One of my tables held a dating couple from my school, there with the girl's parents. For some reason serving people I knew made me more nervous than serving strangers so I was a little on edge and out to impress.

Which I'm certain I did when I carried out their food with both hands and arms full and subsequently spilled the dish of sweet and sour sauce that was on my wrist ALL DOWN THE BOY'S LEG.

I'm sure it was their most delightful Valentine's day yet!

I, of course, died. 

Dear Keith and Maggie,

I'm sorry for ruining your lovely Valentine's date way back when.

Seeing as that you went on to get married

and have two children however,

I can only assume it didn't ruin anything else. 

Perhaps I even brought you closer through laughter and mockery?

And in fact caused you to realize you loved one another

even when covered

in bright red dipping sauce?

Well if that's the case,

You're welcome my friends! 

Signed, 

No longer in the food industry, thank goodness.